To Wreck His World
by Bucky's Girl 9
Summary: My way with how the Infinity War.


To Wreck His World

This is a different spin on what would happen when the greatest Marvel heroes go against one galactic asshole set on galactic domination.

Prologue Loki's POV:

I guess I should have seen it coming with everyone in the royal court of Asgard just buzzing with excitement over the fact that Thanos had been defeated by its crowned princes and a huge group of mortals, they would want to know how it had all started. Even though Thor loved to talk about his many battles, he was not really wanting to speak of this one. I could see that none of the ones there were yet ready to speak of the battle, but it is where I met my beloved one. Yet, when Fandral asked me to recount the events leading up to the combined working of the group, I was a bit shy to start the story and my loving lady started telling everyone, which, got me off the hook for a little while. Everyone listened as she began to talk of the moment I brought her into the war between the Avengers and Thanos, it suddenly became clear just how much my family meant to me and just how big it had gotten with all of the new members. I also thought of the new members that was about to join this huge group of people both mortal and Asgardian alike that I call my family. I sat behind my beloved as she recounted the battle with a smile on my face while my arm were wrapped around her waist and hands resting on her slightly extended abdomen.

Valerie's POV:

I had been minding my own business and making sure my books were in order for my little Main Street shop when this dark haired stranger with emerald green eyes came flying in through my main window. He landed in front of my feet beaten pretty badly from whoever had just thrown him there. I did not really have time to think before I was moving to get him out of harm's way. I dragged him to my back stockroom and closed the door hoping that the assailant would not follow us in our retreat. From within the room I called for the police and first responders to come to my store to help us.

Now that I think back on that day, I almost have to laugh because my sister called me after she had heard the store's address given over the radio and her ringtone on my phone is the song called 'Wrecking Ball'. When I heard that come over my phone, I looked down and thought that it was not the time to start cracking up. So, I quickly answered my phone and began talking to her.

"What Scotti? I am in the middle of a serious crisis here and I had a very good looking guy thrown into my store through my front window!"

"I know this, why do you think I am calling you, dumbass. Are you in the stockroom right now?"

"Yes, I am along with the guy who came into my shop the hard way! I mean whoever threw him had to have been at least nineteen feet tall and weigh in at over six hundred pounds! I am telling you, sis, this guy came flying in and landed at my feet while I was behind the register!"

"Valerie, calm your ass down or you might have either a stroke or seizure. I can't get to you right yet, so that is why I am getting on to you about this."

I just look at my phone with my tongue stuck out only to hear a strange noise that was between a cough and a laugh that catches my attention. Looking over, I found that the stranger had indeed woke up and I did find that he did have bright emerald green eyes like I had thought.

"Sis, I have to go because the guy just woke up and I am just going to see if he has any major injuries. Talk to you later."

After hanging up, I cautiously crawled back over to him while telling him that I mean no harm to him. Finally, he nodded as if he was understanding me somewhat, I checked his head for cuts, bruises, or any other injuries. I was definitely surprised to find no injuries whatsoever on him. Then I just had to ask him his name and when he told me it I thought he might have hit his head a little harder than I first thought. Then he did the one thing that sealed it for me that he was not joking. He decided that he wanted to sit beside himself, which freaked me out for the first few seconds.

"You really are Loki Laufeyson. I only thought that you were a Norse myth. So, was it Thor that threw you into my shop the hard way?"

"No, it was an intergalactic bully by the name Thanos that threw me in here and I am surprised that he has not followed our retreat. What is this room made of?"

"Titanium and Adamantium."

"Don't tell me that you are related to the mutant known as Wolverine."

I gave him a guilty as charged look only to have him look at me as if I had grown a second head. This made me laugh because his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull. I could not stop laughing at his reaction to the news that he was in the presence of Wolverine's family member. He just sat there for a few more minutes before he just laid his head into his hands like he was ready to cry about the whole situation.

"You have got to be flipping kidding me. You are Wolverine's family member. How are you related to him?"

"He is my father and Victor is my uncle. Yes, Sabertooth is the one that I am talking about."

"Great, of all the buildings that I could have been thrown into, that son of a galactic bitch threw me into your building. So, do I get to have the honor of knowing which of his daughters I am in the presence of right now?"

"My name just so happens to be Valerie Michelle Howlett. I have a sister by the name of Scarlet Rose, but her nickname is Scotti. Don't ask me she just prefers that name over Scarlet and I think it has to do with the fact that our dad loves the movie 'Gone With the Wind'. I have even told her to be glad that he did not name her after the plantation home of Scarlett O'Hara."

That was just enough to make him smile and laugh over the fact that it was true that our dad could have name her that way. The laughter actually made his eyes a bit brighter as well. Suddenly, everything outside of the stockroom went deathly quiet as if all of the air had been pull out of the store and Loki went as still as the grave because he was sensing that the very person that had thrown him into my store had just entered it through the very same window.

"Oh shit, I think the bastard is in here. I am going to astral plane out of here just to get him out of this area."

"Your magic is not strong enough to do that, Loki. You have lost some of your blood. Since we here on Earth don't have any idea of your blood type, I would prefer that you did not tax yourself."

"Please this is just child's play to me, besides I already got him following the fake me. Hell, he doesn't even realize that I am not really in front of him running."

Suddenly, Loki gets this grim look on his face as if he realized that he only has a certain distance that his power will help him before giving out. Looking at me, he gave me a look of we had better get the hell out of the store before the mad man came back and destroy the store with us in it. Remembering about the secret tunnel, I pulled the hatch up that was hidden under the rug on the floor. He looked at me as if he didn't know whether to hug me or laugh, but he decided to wait on that until the danger had passed us by. We both got into the tunnel, where there was a cart that rode on a rail and had an engine on the back.

"All aboard the get out of dodge cart. Next stop, my house."

Loki wasted no time in getting into the cart while I got into the driver's seat. Revving the engine, we took off like a bat out of hell with devil himself on our heels. Loki was very surprised to find that the cart had enough speed to toss him flying back into his seat. The ride all the way to my house was like a roller coaster ride through the darken tunnel since all of the power in the town had been knocked out and all I could hear was Loki cussing while screaming as well. I could not help the laughter that bubbled up out of me, which, only served to piss him off more.

"This is fucking insane, you damn woman!"

"It was not my idea to make it like a roller coaster! It was my father and my uncle's fucked up idea! I had no damn say in the planning of this thing in the first place!"

"I knew that Sabertooth was insane, but to hear that Wolverine has finally joined him is not a good thing! I swear when I meet your father I am going to tell him this fact and I don't care if he gets mad!"

Finally, we were at the end of the ride and at the safety of my house. I gave him a look of shear delight when I saw that he was still had a white knuckle grip on the oh shit bar.

"Okay, we are at my house. Oh, you can let go now, Loki, because this is as far as it goes."

"Good, I don't think I can stand another ride like that for a while."

"Wuss."

We looked up to see where the gruff voice had come from only to find my father standing at the top of the stairs. He was looking down at us with a few others behind him, which made Loki cringe because he knew who they were. He must have looked pretty worried considering that the one known as Captain America lifted his mask off and gave my father's shoulder a squeeze in friendship. Loki seemed to calm down after that while he tried to smile at his brother Thor.

"Hello, brother."

"Hello, my brother. How are you doing considering that you were thrown into her storefront window?"

"Like shit, but at least I am still alive," Loki said jokingly.

"Alright everybody, up out of the tunnel because we have one more cart inbound and this cart has to go get them. Scarlet is going to be driving them here. Valerie, I need to get your papa's first aid kit. Now, child."

"Yes, sir."

I swear my dad forgets that I have his hearing because I hear the whole conversation about how my uncle was injured badly by Thanos and he may have ended up being a paraplegic. Once that I had the first aid kit, I ran back into the living room to find that group had arrived with a dead uncle and everyone looked a bit shook up for it. I could tell that my father was losing it in my papa's embrace. It was the look on Loki's face of pure confusion that I felt that needed to be explained.

"Loki, come with me, please."

"If you are going to explain anything about this family you will do it here."

"Then you do it dad, because it is your story to tell."

"Don't get smart with me, daughter. What you are looking at is a very hidden part of this family. Not many people know of this and it is mainly the ones we think of as family that understand this."

"Okay. So how did you two meet and what led up to you two having such beautiful daughters."

"How we met was kind of weird to start with, because he came tumbling out of a rip in the space and time, which included a different dimensional universe. What had him running was another version of me that was very cruel to him even though my beloved Hercules would not fight him."

"I thought I loved him until I met and found true love within the arms of this version of James. He has never held me into only one position. We are switch with each other and that helps when James goes into heat. I get to be the big wolf to breed him. That is how we have our two beautiful daughters. I know that it sounds wild, but this is how it works. I so sorry about your brother babe, I know that you and him just patched up your bond as brothers, but at least you know that there was nothing he would not do for any of us. Especially, the girls, he adored them."

"Thanos, grabbed him by the neck and snapped him like he was just a twig. It was the most God awful sound that made all of us cringe on the inside and pray that he would be able to heal up from. It took him the whole ride back here for him to pass away, but he made it clear using his eyes that he wanted to be avenged," Bucky said as he tried to reign in his temper as he spoke. "It was enough to make both Steve and myself almost shake with rage at ruthless Thanos could be. Hell, he made the Red Skull look like a fucking wuss. The rest of the team that was with us went into full out battle mode, which made Thanos drop Victor's body with a sickening thud on to the ground. Steve and I carried his body to the escaped hatch area with the team covering our retreat."

"Bucky, calm down buddy. We all know that you are not in a mood to deal with a bunch of fucking stupidity, but we have to plan this very carefully for the next attack," Steve said with a hand on his shoulder.

"May I try something? It might save him and bring him back so he can get a little bit of revenge."

"If you think you can, go for it."

Loki POV:

This is where in the story I felt that I could jump in and be able to tell the story for a while to give Valerie a break from telling, although I just hoped that I could be as funny in the places that I needed to be in the telling.

I knelt down with my knees on either side of Victor's head, I gently laced my fingers under his head and prayed that I could do this with the right result at the end. I started to send a healing spell through my body out into his. I felt the spot start warming up and before everybody's eyes, Victor started breathing and coughing like he had been underwater for a few minutes. I had to try and hold him down to let him gain full use of all limbs before something happened bad. Finally, he started shoving at my hands to get them off. When I let him go, Hercules let James go and we watched as they hugged like they were never letting the other go.

"What the fuck were you thinking, you damn fool?! Did you not see him throw a demigod through the front window of Valerie's store?"

"I was trying to draw that big, fat fucking, two eyed, no-horned flying purple people thrower away from the store front area. I am fine, thank you for asking by the way."

I could not stop the laughter that bubbled up out of me like champagne bubbles. At first, I thought I was going to be killed for the laughing problem only to find that I was being joined by Hercules and Thor. Before I knew it everyone was joining in and Victor was the loudest because he finally realized what he had said, which gave me a hellish idea for the next time I saw him.

"Hey guys and ladies, I just had a hellish idea for that purple fat fucker the next time he comes at us."

I explain my idea to all of them only to have Tony come up with the idea of putting him in drag in a bikini, which only served to turn Clint green. Bucky even started with putting ideas for how to deal with Thanos for the next time and one of them made Steve a little nervous. I had to take a break from telling the story so that everyone could regain the their breath from all of their laughing. I knew that Heimdall had not gone into detail when Thanos was defeated of what he was wearing. Once everyone had calmed down, I started back up with the story.

The one that came up with the best idea was actually Victor himself and let me tell you this when I say that everyone gave him this look as to see if he had indeed lost his mind. That was because what came out of his mouth was something that nobody would have thought he would think of.

"Hey, why not stick a barbed dildo that looks like cat's dick up his ass with a remote that has buttons for what speed it will vibrate. Let everyone who has the biggest grudge against him control it."

"Dude, we would need a dildo four feet long and two feet wide to manage getting him to lose his mind."

"Why not make it red, white and blue," Steve asked to see if he could get anyone to laugh at the suggestion.

Everyone looked at Steve as if he had lost his mind only to realize that he had a bright idea after all. I began to get this wicked look on my face as the plan began to form of how to get the dildo where it was needed and how everybody was going to get a chance at running the remote. Everyone looked at me like they were already to jump on top of the plan when Tony decided to add to the idea by volunteering to turn one of his new suits into what we needed. We all started laughing at that point because of the image that came into everyone's mind. He even said that he could set it up to vibrate to loud music.

That was when we heard what sounded like a spaceship land outside of the house, but over in the wooded area which made all of us a little nervous until we saw Drax come in carrying Gamora in his arms. I motioned for him to gently lay her down on the floor and went about healing her wounds up. Just I finished with her, in walk Star Lord, who, was a bit banged up himself, but not as bad as the raccoon in his arms was.

"I gather you all had a go at Thanos?"

"Yeah. That fat bastard took out the one person I looked to like a father. He took out Yondu."

"Bring him in here and be quick. I might be able to help him and save him like I did Victor."

"Go for it, because he was the closest thing I had to a dad," Star Lord said as he went to retrieve Yondu's body.

Upon his return, I told him to lay him down so that I could get to work to see if I could bring Yondu back. Unfortunately, Yondu was too badly beaten and his neck column was far too shattered to try repairing, which I was able to tell just by how limp his neck and head felt in my hands. I explained all of this to Star Lord, who finally just told me to call him Peter, and everyone watched as he cried over the body of the man that had raised him. When he was done crying, he looked up with a look on his face of pure white rage and it even seemed to faze the two ferals of the team. The only one that braved the chance to talk to Peter was Logan and yet he was a nervous wreck while doing so.

"Hey bub, I know that feeling all to well. I thought I was going to have to let the berserker within me out earlier on that fucker, but gratefully Loki saved my brother. I know if he had not been able to do that, I would have went on a blood lust induced rampage after Thanos. So, let's bury your daddy and talk about what we have planned for him the next time we meet up with him on the battlefield. Trust me when I say that it will leave you in stitches."

Peter Quill's POV:

Let's just say when these guys started telling me about their plan, I did end up in stitches over the whole thing because they were definitely using their imaginations to work together on this. I can't tell you how many times I had to call for a break so I could breathe. I think even Drax was laughing his ass off at the ideas they had already put together, which shocked me because I did not think he would understand crazy humans could think like. Although I think Gamora, Rocket, and Groot had no idea what we were talking about at the time because they gave the rest of us a look of 'have you lost your minds', which only served to make us laugh even harder. I also think half of the group ended up running to the restroom to relieve themselves because of laughing so hard. That is except for the ferals, of course, they went outside to a tree. Some of us that could not wait much longer joined them marking trees.

Rocket's POV:

To tell you the truth, we had absolutely no idea what the hell they were laughing about until Logan broke it down to simple terms. That was when I joined in on the laughter because of the image it put in my mind, which was very disturbing. Groot got it as well, but did not know if it would be proper to laugh at the intentions of the plan while Gamora just sat there and blushed over the whole idea of ramming one of Iron Man's suits up Thanos' ass, while being painted up in multiple colors and refitted to do what they had in mind. I will tell you that I even had a hand in refitting the suit with the high grade vibrating equipment needed to pull off Thanos' down, which was pretty spectacular. Even the colors of the suit were changed, but I must say that Tony was pretty irate about the colors. I mean it went from red and gold to rainbow with a red, white and blue ass. Although, I have to say that I don't think Bucky will ever get used to hearing and seeing a talking raccoon, but of course due to the time period he is originally from it is understandable. I mean in the 1940's on Earth, I don't thinking there was any talking raccoons let alone ones that could shoot firearms as well as any human.

"You are right there, Rocket. I doubt that I will ever get used to seeing and hearing you talk like a human."

"Get over it, buddy. Oh, I still want your arm."

"No deal, dude."

Thor's POV:

I am sitting in amongst my friends and family, who were laughing so hard that I was pretty sure they were going to pull a muscle somewhere, while I was remembering about the battle that we had against Thanos and all of the funny moments before the finally fight. It is only when Rocket speaks of the colors that the suit got painted before Loki remotely sent it up Thanos's ass. That was when I decided to speak of the bikini that Thanos ended up in.

"Don't forget about the string bikini he ended up in before Loki remotely drove the suit up Thanos' ass. Yes, you heard me right about what he was wearing when the suit was driven up his ass. Hell, Bruce and Hulk cringed when they saw what we did to the purple fucker."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Because we got Loki to put him into a purple and green string bikini that had the middle string split into two going up both sides of his ass while leaving his ass bare."

"Let me guess, it was quite the cringe worthy sight to see the most colorful armored dildo go in between the biggest ass cheeks next to those of Surtur," Heimdal said while trying to keep his humor in check.

"I think it would have even made Surtur cringe at the sight."

"Now that is saying something if you think it would have made him because he didn't cringe at nothing."

"I know father would have cringed at the sight of seeing that for sure and what would really make him cringe was the fact that we did everything together," Loki said while holding one of his sides. "Even mother would have cringed because we both worked on this together and found common devious ground."

"Oh, that might have made your mother pass away from what might have been a great heart attack. I guess I should say that maybe that she knew what was about to happen and called him to her in Valhalla," Heimdal said with a smile on his face. "I bet that when you two started the torture of Thanos, he just about went crazy out of his mind."

"He went more than crazy. He went so completely out of his demented mind not understanding what was going on within his body."

That made my friends and family begin to laugh even harder over that being said as if they must have agreed about what had possibly been the events that happened.

Valerie's POV:

I began telling the story about how the war with Thanos was won and who had a go at controlling the remote that controlled the refitted suit. The fact that Rocket started smiling like he had been allowed to eat something that normally he wasn't allowed made everyone nervous. When I told everyone why he was smiling, they started just busted up laughing because he was the last one to have he go at the remote.

"I cranked it up to the fullest of its power and just held it there until the titan just lost it permanently. I don't just mean his mind, I also mean his life. He died of a massive heart attack with a hard on from hell because somehow Tony figured out how to build a cock ring big enough to go around his girth and keep him finding his release."

I finished telling the gathered family and friends what was done with the dead titan's body and how he had to be buried face down dick first, which only made everyone laugh until they were in tears. I thought to myself that this was best way any war could end.


End file.
